Hi to all who are new to my concept of CHAMPOO, my saviour in the time of total mental breakdown due to atrocious attacks on my sense of ounderstanding. So if you are lifeless and also annoy me then you are bound to meet my friend CHAMPOO and believe me on this- YOU WILL LOVE HIM.
Scene 1.
Scene is that me and my mom were in the middle of some heated and healthy discussion. Suddenly mom foresaw her defeat at it and so tried to turn the debate and picked out a topic out of nowhere and which wasn’t in anyway even related to the ongoing discussion. Wow that was precarious, arbitary and kinda foolish. Well if she can do random crazy stuff why can’t I?
So it was time mom finally met CHAMPOO who is a bigger and stronger superhero than superman himself. He can save miserable lives.
Mom: so vini you see that day uncle had to go and……blah blah blah blah and it continues.(me staring into the oblivion).
Vini: mom have you met my friend CHAMPOO?
Mom: who is he? I don’t care. So as I was saying…..
Vini: mom look there he is in that corner. Hi CHAMPOO. Mom say hi to CHAMPOO.
Mom: uhhhh, where? (and mom tries to continue.)
Vini: mom now come on don’t be rude to him. Say hi.
Mom looks in some direction and says hi to the air and again….
Mom: so as I wa………..
Vini: mom he is smiling at you. Smile back at him.
Mom turns to look who is there but could see no one. Looks back at me in amusement and confused and tries to continue again.
Vini: come on mom can’t you just give him a smile he will be happy if you did.
Mom looks behind her again and tries to smile but in frustration asks…..
Mom: KAHAN HAI? KAUN HAI? MUJHE KYU NAHI DIKH RAHA.?
lol. I almost died laughing.
Scene 2:
Introduction:
Name: Aditya jog
Aditya my friend who is known to kill your brain with his unique attention grabbing techniques(fails miserably though).
Me and him walking down the road(only that asshole knows why I was walking with him cause even I don’t know)
Aj: you know paper is going to be very easy but checking is going to be hard.
(there he goes again)
Suddenly a chick passes by(time for some aj gyan to hit me hard)
Aj : she must be in some hurry that’s why she just smiled but didn’t talk.
(I was stunned by this statement of his cause the smile he was taling about was imaginary for me)
Vin : oh yeah she did. Good friend of yours?
Aj : yeah very we share a close relation. Poor thing has gone through many trouble.(time for aj to make up some story of his)
Vin : oh that’s bad man. So what’s her name? where does she stay what does she do?
*He is too good at making up things. You would know if you had an encounter with him.
Aj : oh she is divya. Stays near the laxmibai school. My friend is dating her his name is pranav he is doing engineering from R.A.I.T and is in last year and he is a champ in………………
Uh oh time for CHAMPOO to save me from total doom of my senses.
Vin : hey have you met my friend CHAMPOO? He is a great fan of yours.
Aj: (smiles. Nah blushes) haan kya. yeah I now I have many friends but don’t remember their faces. Kitno ka yaad rakhu. I only am interested in girls (He actually winked at me after saying that)
Damn aj is about to explode only CHAMPOO can save me now
Vin : oh nah you have never met him though he is always around since you know he is your fan. Anyway there is CHAMPOO( I point in some direction and aj turns towards it). Hey CHAMPOO hi he is aditya and this is CHAMPOO.
Aj: (confused look) heheh mazak kar raha hai kya?
Vin : dude I know he looks ugly but yaar uske muh pe to mat bol he will feel bad na.
How will you feel if I said that you are a born loser?
(and one more thing aj is excellent in English which is alien to us and our English is alien to him so obviously he din’t understand that I called him a loser cause he thinks a loser is someone who has some stuff of his.)
Aj : oh sorry I din’t mean to hurt him. It’s just that I can’t see him bahar toh aane bol.
Vin : dude he is standing right there in front of you. Come on man I din’t think u were that rude to people who like you. Just because you don’t like him you can’t be rude. Atleast chal say hi to him and a few talks and he will leave.
Aj :(looks somewhere) hi can you come outside please cause I can’t see you.
Vin : dude chod jane de you are a chutiya in meeting people I should have never introduced him to you. Bechara.
Aj : (almost losing it) acha chal thik hai HAI. KAISA HAI. NICE TO MEET YOU. Vini where is he yaar bata na I seriously can’t see him cause bahot andhera hai yahan.
Lol died again laughing.
P.S: aj’s English here was altered so that you can understand what he was trying to say.
Scene 3:
Mom and me are in the kitchen having a general talk about how my grandma, i.e her mother-in-law met with that accident and has to undergo an operation soon. Now mom has to give her beloved mom-in-law a visit everyday cause we are the closest ones to them. This responsibility would have shifted to dad if only he was in the country. Me and bro are busy with our stuff so the only option left are sis and her. Suddenly some weird idea struck her and she tries to push it off on me saying that I should be responsible enough for the family’s wellbeing and all the usual crap she could remember from the daily soap she has been following since the eternity.
Mom : vin so its bad that your grandma is weak and can’t move on her own and so needs someone to take care of her. Well when is your next exam?
Vin : about 3 days. Why?
Mom : I was thinking you are old enough to be responsible for your family so ummmmm today you go to her and help her out with her needs.
*my head almost blew hearing that
Vin :(trying endlessly and helplessly to shrug off the new assigned mission) mom I have my exams up and this is my last sem and so I can’t take the risk of being unprepared and yeah she is a female so there may arise conditions when I will be of no use so it’s better you only go.
Mom : (she ain’t budging today) nah vini she won’t have female needs except going to the loo now and then so what you need to do is take her to the loo and stand outside and when she done all you have to do is take her back to her bed and besides you can also take your books with you in case you want to study so hard.
Vin :( damn that was a good attack by captain mom. Will have to come up with something) mom that way I won’t be able to concentrate on my studies and there will be visitors too so I will be distracted all the time you know serving and all.
(yeah mom now beat that *grins. But as I said mom wasn’t in the mood she won’t give up easy)
Mom : a good student can study even in the darkest night and in the most noisiest situations. How do you think the GAREEB ke bache study?
(I seriously don’t know where did that come from. But anyway I guess it’s time for the stupendous CHAMPOO to appear once again and show his might.)
Vin : (pointing towards the ceiling fan) mom look up there.
Mom :(puzzled) where?
Vin : look who is hanging from the fan.
Mom : (staring somewhere) must be a spider or a lizard. Will go away don’t be scared. Like you were scared anyway. Huh.
Vin: no mom it’s CHAMPOO.
Mom : vin not again. Don’t try to run away from your responsibilities. You are going and that’s final.
Vin: mom he had a pear in his hand. I wonder did he get that from.
Mom : vin enough.
Vin : no mom seriously until now I used to think the people making t.v. serials related to some imaginary image being friend of a kid and helping him in trouble and all was just some stupid idea of a worthless man but now I realize that it actually is true and there is someone who helps people in need.
Mom :( now almost on the verge of losing it) vin I don’t want to listen to your mindless crap and go get ready. It’s your responsibility and you should take it. Someday we will be gone then who will help you?
Vin : mom he has befriended Lizzy Mc guire, the lizard. Do you think he likes her? I don’t think he can do anything even if he does cause he is a guy and she is a lizard.
Mom : vin shut up and go away. If you don’t get good marks this time then I will show you how your CHAMPOO and that lizard talk.
(expression on my face at this moment was simply BLANK. Cause I didn’t understand what mom just said. Anyway I am free of my so called RESPONSIBILITY. Thank you again CHAMPOO)
*smiles*
Scene 4:
Bro and me were having just some usual fist fights for fun and i jumped on him from the window. He got hit on his jaw and now enough of fun cause he has lost it so it's time for his being elder and me being a stick to take over his senses and give me some verbal firing.
well this time as he was continuing i had just about introduced him to CHAMPOO when mom overhearing us suddenly jumped in and saved him saying
'MAT SUN NA USKA WO PAGAL HAI, KUCH BHI BOLTA HAI, KOI CHAMPOO NAHI HAI KAHI BHI, KABHI NAHI THA MUJHE PATA HAI, WO SACHI PAGAL HO GAYA HAI AAJKAL.'
*shit you should have seen her face. it turned red and she was saying just any random stuff arising in her brain. lol
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