The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself -
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing
Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this
Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him
When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page
How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin
But what is the difference between literature and journalism?/ ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates
I hate women because they always know where things are
It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin
Illusion is the first of all pleasures
Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier
Everything you can imagine is real
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79
Living hell is the best revenge
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it
If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity
Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance
As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls
Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world
